7 Quality Ways To Avoid Head-Hopping In Your Novel

November 26, 2024

Searching for Ways to Avoid Head-Hopping?

It’s a common writing challenge, especially for newer authors. It can be hard to see when it creeps into your writing. After all, you’re doing it because you’re passionate about your story characters and you want your readers to have all the juicy details!

What is it?

I’m talking, of course, about head-hopping.

Hi, I’m Kaitlin, an editor for indie romance authors. If you’ve ever struggled with keeping your point of view consistent in your books . . . I feel you! Keep reading for my best tips on how to write from a strong and consistent POV—so you can hold your readers’ attention until the very last page.

What is head-hopping?

So what exactly is head-hopping? This is when you switch back and forth between telling the story from different characters’ perspectives without a scene or chapter break. You “hop” inside one character’s head, then “hop” inside another. In other words, your POV isn’t consistent. This can happen (among other reasons) if you haven’t fully planned out your main character(s) and what they’re experiencing throughout the story.

When you’re using third-person narration (from one character’s POV) head-hopping can easily sneak on the scene. As you describe your protagonist’s thoughts and feelings, it can be easy to unconsciously switch to describing the thoughts and feelings of another character in the same scene.

Head-hopping can also happen in the omniscient POV. Since the story is told by an outside “omniscient” narrator, it’s tempting to try and give the reader more information than they need, allowing head-hopping to creep in.

The temptation to head hop appears less frequently if you’re writing in first-person, but you still want to learn how to avoid it, just in case it crops up.

Why should you avoid head-hopping?

Here’s the problem with head-hopping.

Let’s say your story is written in third person limited. Your reader is experiencing the story as if they are that character. What happens when, out of nowhere, the reader is suddenly uprooted and plopped into the head of a different character?

You guessed it—your reader is bound to feel confused, disoriented, and even emotionally disconnected from the character they were identifying with.

Frequently changing the POV, especially mid-scene, interrupts the flow of the story and causes readers to lose track of whose head they’re supposed to be in at that moment!

Think about it: In real life, we can’t see thought bubbles above other people’s heads (even though we’d sometimes like to, am I right?). And we definitely can’t get inside their head to see what they’re actually feeling and experiencing. We have a limited point of view. Good fiction writing keeps this in mind.

Now, I’m definitely not saying you can’t use more than one POV in your book. In fact, a dual viewpoint is very common in the romance genre. But there are specific ways to implement it so you won’t confuse your readers.

To keep your reader immersed and the story believable, you’ll want to change from one character to another only when it truly adds to the story, and when transitions or boundaries are in place to guide the reader through the switch (more on this below in tip #5).

You know how people say, “the book was so good I couldn’t put it down!”? Head-hopping chops up that flow, giving them a reason every two minutes to put the book down. Don’t do it!

Here are seven ways (plus one bonus tip, ’cause who doesn’t love freebies?) to avoid head-hopping so you keep your reader connected, engaged, and in love with your characters and your story.

1. Rewrite in first person

If you are struggling to stay consistent with your POV, here’s a little exercise to try: Rewrite an entire chapter in first person. This can help your brain switch gears and begin seeing the story from the perspective of one character instead of many. (Obviously you will have to change it back to third person if that’s how your book is written, but it’s a good exercise if you are stuck!)

2. Limit the points of view in your writing

Naturally, you want your reader to get to know all your characters as well as you have come to know and love them. I get it!

Some fiction out there does get away with POVs from lots of multiple characters (Game of Thrones famously has SO MANY! That’s one of the reasons I actually stopped reading the series. I couldn’t keep all the characters straight!).

My best advice, though, is to limit the number of POVs you use when writing a novel. Especially if you’re a newer writer, you want to focus on allowing readers to develop a strong connection with your main character in the story.

3. Get up close and personal with your main character

The better you understand your main character, the more you can stay within their perspective when writing. Character mapping can help with this. When you write out each character, with their detailed description, role, and relationship to other characters, you’ll develop a clear vision of your protagonist’s perspective. You’ll be free to then map the other characters around that central POV so they don’t end up taking over in the middle of the script!

4. Create a visual reminder

This tip is super practical for keeping the viewpoint character consistent! I’ve found it can be helpful to set up a physical reminder when writing—a little cue that tells your brain to stay on track.

If you are writing from your FMC’s (female main character’s) perspective, maybe you could put a green sticky note next to your keyboard or on the edge of your laptop screen. Then, when writing from your MMC’s (male main character’s) perspective, switch to a different color of sticky note. This visual reminder will help your flow of consciousness to stay in one viewpoint until it’s time to switch.

5. Utilize transitions and boundaries

It can be tricky to switch a POV character mid-chapter, but it is possible! In fact, Lisa Kleypas, one of my favorite historical romance authors, does this quite often. Many writers, though, choose to only switch POVs at a chapter break. This is the more popular method since it’s usually easier for readers to follow. I would definitely recommend sticking to this method until you have honed your craft.

6. Show, don't tell (barf, sorry)

This is one of those phrases we’ve heard a thousand times, I know. But stick with me! This bit of well-worn advice is actually very useful when trying to write a story without head-hopping.

Whether your novel is in first person, third person, or omniscient narration, keep in mind the experience that you want your readers to have as they read. How can you help them see, feel, touch, smell, and taste the story?

Here’s a quick example:

Instead of saying, “she felt sick when she read his diary,” say something like, “Her stomach roiled, her breathing quickened, and a cold sweat broke out on her forehead.” These details help avoid head-hopping by immersing yourself (and the reader) in the tangible experience of the character, rather than describing it from a detached perspective.

Another great way to show readers the perspective of a non-POV character is to describe their body language, which your main character can then observe and react to.

7. Ask yourself: Is it necessary?

All your characters are important, yes. But do readers actually need to know the deepest internal thoughts of every single non-POV character? They really don’t. (Sorry.)

In the best novels, the reader discovers things right along with the main character, keeping them on the edge of their seat. It’s okay for some things to stay unknown!

If you look at your manuscript and find you have more than two viewpoints, ask yourself if they’re truly necessary. What does each viewpoint add to the overall story? How could you provide that information solely through the eyes of your main character?

(Want some more self-editing tips? Check out my blog “Best Self-Editing Tips for Authors“!)

Bonus tip: Ask for feedback

If you know this is an area where you struggle, ask for help! Many new writers are too close to their work to consistently catch when they’ve slipped into a different POV. That’s why you need a second (or third, or fourth . . . ) pair of eyes on your manuscript. Rally your critique partners, beta readers, or editors, and ask them specifically to critique the POV in your book.

Do you think you can avoid head hopping?

Now that you have the tools and tips to examine your own writing for this POV mistake, you can do your very best to avoid it.

If you’re looking for an editor to help flag those mistakes (and others!) in your manuscript, contact me for a free sample edit. I’d love to help you craft a strong and compelling story that your readers can’t put down!